With this song composed by Caetano Veloso and performed by Cibelle and Devendra Banhart I want to bid farewell to London and everything that happened to me there. Well, it’s past now.
Yes, I am back now in Latvia. Maybe it’s not quite back to black but back to zero is really what it is. You may say I am a looser. Maybe. On one hand I am definitely looser since I didn’t achieve my primary goal. I wasn’t able to earn money for the trip of my dreams. But on the other hand, I’ve got an enormous experience which nobody can take back of me. I needed to relax, and I relaxed. I did much of learning and reading. At last I could read books which I wanted to read, not only those which I translated. . I got NVQ or national qualification in retail, I did 120 hours TEFL course online, I learned Spanish. And I improved my spoken English. At last I can speak English not thinking about what I am going to speak about. And I did a couple of crazy things, which I don’t regret. I let myself to fall in love, and isn’t it crazy at this age when you should be reasonable and beyond that. But at that time it seemed such a meaningful coincidence, and it pointed me into the right direction.
But now I am back again. Already whole long year I am here in Latvia. It was difficult to find my place again, and sometimes I even thought that I won’t be able to find my way back into the system. I have worked lot, and thought over lot, and planned lot. And I have come to conclusion, that this time is a big, fat dividing line in my life. It is like I have finished to live one life, and I can die now. Yes, looking over my life I can see that I have done enough for an average person’s lifetime, and maybe even a bit more. This is a point where my second life should start, but will I be allowed to have a second life? Let’s see.